Hole in None
by LordByronMudkippington
Summary: Trying to find something to do, the Aqours girls decide to play some mini golf. It goes about as well as you'd expect.


Riko was positive that this wasn't a good idea. Sure, mini golf didn't sound like trouble on the surface, but anything that involved her friends and potential weapons had the opportunity to spell disaster. She really didn't want to take the chance, but apparently everyone else was willing to risk it. Though she had hoped that Dia would also express concern, it was not to be. All it took was Mari to imply that she was the better golfer, and Dia's competitive juices started flowing.

They split into two groups so that they could all get there via car. Mari had initially suggested they could all go in her family limo, but Dia had shot down that idea. It would 'draw too much attention', which got the two of them into an argument that Riko hoped would go on long enough that the place ended up closing. She would not be so lucky.

In her mind, Riko dubbed the two groups 'the responsible car' and 'the irresponsible car'. Kanan was the driver of the responsible group, and considering her history of safe transportation, Riko naturally gravitated towards her. She was definitely not going to allow herself to be in the same car as Yoshiko, who was a much more reckless driver. Yoshiko was great, but she wasn't exactly known to stick to the speed limit. On top of that, she had a well-known issue with road rage. Not that she was the only one in the group, but at least Riko could pretend that whatever Mari was screaming in a furious blend of Italian and English wasn't extremely rude and not for the ears of impressionable children.

She did feel bad for the other three who had to drive with Yoshiko, but for that day, she decided to adopt a 'better you than me' attitude and gratefully threw herself into Kanan's passenger seat before Chika could yell shotgun. Besides her, Kanan, and Chika, You and Ruby were also joining them for their little trip. She actually felt worse for Dia, who had sacrificed her chance to go with Kanan in order to keep Ruby safe. Her attempts to keep her sister safe was truly honorable, but it left her to a terrible fate: a drive with Yoshiko, Mari, and Hanamaru.

In Kanan's car, she felt safe. The radio quietly played a disc of rock music that Riko hadn't heard before. "Hey Kanan, what band is this?"

"It's Muse. Mari gave me some of their music because Dia loves them so much. I thought it'd be nice to understand why she has such reverence for them, you know? They do have quite a nice sound. I can see why they were such a popular idol group." Riko turned to Kanan, trying to turn all that information over in her mind. The chatter in the back stopped, and she was sure that everyone was staring as well.

"Kanan... That's a male vocalist." This information seemed to catch Kanan off guard. She frowned as she started to process this new knowledge. "Did you not notice that?"

"Doesn't... Doesn't one of them have a deeper voice, though? Uh, Uhmee?" Chika's snort of laughter came from the back, and Riko turned to find her losing the battle to contain her laughter. You just looked confused, while Ruby's cheeks were puffed out in indignation, like she was just about to start pointing out every single flaw of Kanan's beliefs. Riko would have to intervene.

"Kanan, I promise you, that is not an idol group." By this point, Chika was squirming around in her seat, busting out in gales of laughter. Somehow, Riko had a feeling that she had known this wasn't the right band before this whole debacle had started. "They're... Well, I don't know who they are."

"I'll check," You offered, pulling out her phone. "I have the Shazam app on my phone." She pushed the big button in the middle and held out her phone, waiting until it registered the music. "Alright, got it! It's... Muse."

"See?!" Kanan smiled, clapping her hands together in temporary triumph. "It _is_ Muse!"

"No no, it's Muse, not Muse."

"... But you just said-"

"Kanan, oh Gods, it's M-U-S-E! They're a rock band from England!" If Chika hadn't been buckled in, she probably would've burst open the door and rolled out of the car with how hard she was laughing. "Mari was joking with you!"

"Sh-She was?" Kanan's face fell. "Oh Gods, I've been listening to this for years! I wondered why Dia never sang along to any of the songs..." Even Riko had to suppress her laughter. "I'm going to kill Mari."

* * *

In the other car, Dia was sitting in the backseat, tapping her fingers nervously on the window. Whenever she glanced out the window, she'd quickly look at her knees instead, fear fully instilled at the sight of random buildings flying by at rapid speed. However, when she wasn't looking, she had this unhealthy need to know what exactly was going on outside, because she didn't want to be mentally unprepared for her untimely demise. Then she'd pull out her phone and start to text her mother a last will and testimony. This had happened enough that her mother had learned to not put too much stock into it.

 _'All of my Muse drama CDs will be gifted to my little sister, Ruby. My collection of Eli figurines will be buried alongside me.'_ That was as far as she got before the car hit something and the back of the car temporarily left the ground, causing Dia to accidentally hit 'send' and nearly drop the phone as well. "What the hell was that?!"

"It was just the curb, Dia. Chill out." Yoshiko dismissed any concerns Dia might've had, which certainly didn't end their existence in Dia's mind. Honestly, only Chika seemed more likely to get distracted behind the wheel, though there hadn't yet been an incident as bad as when Chika hit a stop sign because she was trying to look at the pictures in Ruby's magazine. That was why Ruby was never allowed to be in Chika's car again.

She wasn't allowed to drive with Yoshiko either, though she had a sneaking suspicion that her rules weren't being enforced all the time. Things were made worse by Mari, who would encourage all this reckless driving up in the passenger's seat. Dia wasn't sure if this was better or worse than having Hanamaru up there. The always-curious girl, in her first and last time in that spot, was incredibly fascinated by every button in the car. After having accidentally changed the radio station three times, she ended up attempting to put the car in neutral while they were driving. Maybe it was a toss up between the two.

"Well, just pay more attention to the road." She knew her words would fall on deaf ears, but she still felt compelled to say something. Trying to keep her mind off of thinking the worst was going to happen, she tried to start up a conversation with Hanamaru instead. When she had first been in a car, Hanamaru had been endlessly fascinated with everything, pointing out random things that went by with an excited 'zura!' Now, however, she sat there reading a book, which was impressive to Dia. She was sure she'd get carsick trying to do that, especially with how fast they were going. "What are you reading, Hanamaru?"

"It's a book about the changes in military campaigns throughout human history. It's fascinating, zura." Her replies all came without looking up from the book.

"Oh. I didn't know you were interested in that."

"Mm! Would you like to borrow it when I'm done?"

"Sure." She wasn't all that interested in the subject, but it seemed like a pleasant response. Hanamaru smiled, and yet she still didn't even glance up from her book. It made Dia feel like she was intruding, so she pulled away and went back to tapping on the window. When was this car ride going to end?

* * *

Yoshiko made it there quite a bit before Kanan did, so she parked next to Yoshiko's car and turned to her passengers. "Not a word about the 'Muse' thing to Dia, okay?" Riko gulped, having never seen Kanan look so serious, but it seemed like Kanan trusted her the most, since her hardened gaze was mostly trained on the back.

"A-Aye aye, captain," You saluted nervously.

"Dia who?" Chika grinned, opening her door and bouncing out of the car.

"Ruby?" Kanan softened her gaze when she turned to Ruby. She knew how loyal Ruby was to her sister, but she really didn't need the scolding about how little she knew about idol culture. Mari was certainly going to get an earful about this.

"I-I won't tell her." There was truth in her voice, so Kanan just nodded and got out of the car. After Ruby and Riko got out, Kanan locked up and the five of them headed inside to meet the rest of their friends, who were standing and sitting impatiently in the lobby. Well, Mari and Yoshiko were. Both Dia and Hanamaru had chosen to sit, and neither of them seemed particularly fazed by the delay.

"Come on, get the lead out!" Mari clapped loudly at them before rushing over to the counter and slapping her credit card down. "Nine for mini golf!" The guy working there nodded and swiped her card, pointing them to where they could get their clubs, golf balls, and score cards.

The nine of them headed into the room to get what they needed, with Yoshiko immediately making a beeline for the bucket of black golf balls. "Ahh perfect, a ball that accurately represents the darkness inside of me."

"Are you actually serious right now?" You rolled her eyes and grabbed a light blue club. "You're becoming a borderline parody of yourself, Yoshiko."

"What are you talking about?" Yoshiko shot back, affronted by You's insinuations. "I'm always being serious! Yohane, the all-powerful demon-"

"Is playing mini golf. What kind of demon mini golfs anyway?"

"... One who likes to have fun, that's who." Yoshiko crossed her arms and sulked away, just as Chika bounded over with a bright orange ball and club.

"Heyyy You! Oh, you're choosing that color? Is it because it matches your panties?"

"Ch-Chika!" You felt her face heating up, frantically shaking Chika's shoulders. "Don't say that out loud!"

"Oh yeah, ehehe, sorry!" Chika giggled bashfully, though she didn't actually seem all that sorry. You sighed deeply, trying to will the blush from her face. She didn't really want to explain what had made her face all red. For a moment, she considered changing what color ball she had to avoid Chika comparing it to her underwear again, but she really liked the color. She decided to stick with it, grabbing a matching club and a scorecard before heading out with Chika.

They all gathered at the first hole, where Kanan begin discussing splitting the group up. "Alright, so since there's no point in all of us waiting at one hole, why don't we split up into teams of two? One group will have three, so whoever's the ninth person will get to choose their group. How are we going to divide it up?"

"I call Dia!" Mari jumped on Dia and wrapped her up in a tight hug, getting a surprised shout for her efforts. Though she grumbled a bit, there was no attempt to change partners from Dia. After that, Chika and You paired up, followed by Ruby and Hanamaru, then finally Kanan and Yoshiko. That left Riko to choose her fate.

Going with Chika and You or Dia and Mari was off the table. She knew that they would get too competitive, and she really didn't want to have to be the serious one in their comedy of errors. Kanan and Yoshiko wouldn't be a bad choice. Yoshiko's demon schtick wasn't that bad to deal with, and Kanan was always really nice to be around. Then again, both Ruby and Hanamaru would likely be the quietest and there'd be no competition or rushing.

So she joined up with Ruby and Hanamaru. The three of them headed to hole twelve to start there. "I'm really glad to be in your group," she admitted.

"We are too," Ruby responded with a smile. "S-Sometimes my big sis can get really competitive."

"It'll be a bloodbath, zura. Like the Great Emu War of 1932."

"Wha- Uh, never mind." Deciding not to question whatever the hell that was, she figured that she might as well actually try to golf. She'd actually gone mini golfing twice when she was younger, but she wasn't an expert or anything. The experiences certainly didn't make her any better than the others.

She put her ball in the proper place and lined up her club, eyeing the obstacles at hand. There were lots of slanted blocks that, when hit correctly, would bounce the ball all the way to its final destination. If the shot was off though, it wasn't going to go anywhere. Concentrating, she moved her club a bit, then pulled it back and hit the ball.

It went straight for the first block, and she smiled when it began to bounce in a perfect rhythm, heading straight for its target. Back and forth it went, until it went off of the final block and dropped straight into the hole: a hole in one. She let out a tiny cheer, not wanting to seem conceited for what was likely more luck than skill.

"Wow, that was really good, Riko!" Ruby beamed at her, making Riko blush slightly at the compliment.

"B-Beginner's luck, I guess." Still blushing, Riko moved out of the way so that Ruby could take her turn. Ruby didn't have the same beginner's luck, and it took her six shots to find her way to the hole. Riko and Hanamaru still clapped for her, though. Then it was Hanamaru's turn. It became quickly apparent that she may not have ever seen someone play golf before.

"Uh, Hanamaru? You're holding the club the wrong way."

"Huh?" She was holding the club as if she was the opposite handedness. "Whoops!" She flipped the club around, staring at the ball as if she was trying to move it through sheer force of will. "It's all in the hips, zura. It's all in the hips." What was she talking about now? Then she pulled back the club, held it above her shoulder, then swung down hard. Way too hard.

As soon as the ball was hit, it rocketed forward, hit one of the blocks, and bounced backwards past all of them, nearly hitting Ruby in the process. The club, meanwhile, went all the way around her body. When her arms reached their apex, the club flew out of her hands and over her shoulders, heading right until it reached something that would stop its movements. That 'something' ended up being Riko's forehead.

She barely registered that the club was heading her way until it smacked right against her forehead. A tiny moan of pain left her lips, then her eyes rolled back and she collapsed onto the ground. Immediately Ruby started to freak out, dropping her own club and rushing over to the fallen Riko.

"Oh no oh no oh no! R-Riko! Oh no oh no, what do we do, Hanamaru?!" She was freaking out, not sure if she should try to pick Riko up or not. Did the blow give her a concussion? Was she dead? "Oh please don't be dead!"

"I-I'm sure she's fine, zura." Hanamaru gulped nervously, hoping that it didn't look as bad as it had sounded. The giant welt that was already forming on Riko's forehead quickly proved her wrong. "Oh jeez... I-I'm sorry!"

"I-I'll get Dia!" She ran around the course, frantically trying to reach her sister. "Siiiissss!"

* * *

"Alright, so we have to get the ball up the ramp and through the dragon's mouth before it closes..." You tapped her chin with the handle of her club, staring at the large dragon head that stood before them. Weren't the harder holes supposed to be later? What was this nonsense?

"Or we could hit it over the head." Chika grinned, holding her club across her shoulders. "Let's have a trick shot challenge! You in, or you out?" You grinned, never one to say no to a challenge. She bumped Chika to the side with her hip, putting her ball down and swinging her club back and forth.

"Alright, Chika. Watch a master at work." She lined herself up, pretending to test the wind and measure the distance. Then she set her club down, getting ready to scoop up the ball. She picked up the ball with the club and tossed it upwards, releasing it up into the air. It went higher, higher... but it didn't get enough lift, smacking against the top of the dragon's head and rolling back towards them. "Shoot..."

"Looks like the master still needs some training." Chika giggled, ceremoniously dropping her own ball down. It bounced a couple inches off the ground and rolled forward. "This is why you wear the handcuffs." She stood and grinned at You until her face was the appropriate shade of red, then she put her ball into the proper place and prepared herself.

"Now you can't pussyfoot around things. You have to really put on the power display. Check this out." She had a similar style to You, but she was prepared to put more power into her swing. Getting the club right up against the ball, she went under it and scooped it up, practically flinging it towards the hole.

The ball did indeed go over the dragon's head, but it kept going. It missed the hole entirely, smacking against the rocks that surrounded a pond and bouncing beyond the gated fence. "Uh oh..." You nearly fell over laughing, running over to see if she could spot the ball.

"Oh Gods, Chika, it's in the street! Wow, you really showed me, huh?" Now it was Chika who was turning red.

"Aww, shut up! I still hit it over the head!"

"Yeah, but if we play it from where they landed, you're going to have a bit of a problem." Chika paled, knowing that You was right. With the ball in the street, she'd have quite a ways to go, plus she'd be putting herself in danger. This was a competition though, right? Danger was her middle name.

"We'll see about that!" Holding her club tightly, she began to run around the dragon head, leaping over the pond and onto the rocks on the other side. It was about that time that You finally registered what was going on.

"Ch-Chika, wait! That wasn't an invitation to do what you're doing!" Her calls were ignored, however. Chika vaulted herself over the fence and ran down to the street, where several cars rushed by. One of them barely missed flattening her ball, which had stopped on the closer side of the street. She waited for one more car to pass, then she jumped into the road.

There were already cars coming up from the distance, so she didn't have much time. She didn't bother setting up before she pulled her arms back and swung with all her might. The ball went sailing into the air, past the grass and landing over the fence. "Yes!" She allowed herself a quick fist pump, then she ran back onto the sidewalk before she was turned into a pancake.

The next car to cross honked at her, likely unhappy with her decision to be gallivanting about in the road. She responded with a rather rude hand gesture, then rushed up to get back into the field of play. However, when she jumped back over the fence, her ball was nowhere to be seen. "Huh? Where'd it go?"

"Uh, Chika?" You, who had come around to see what was going on, pointed to the pond. Chika went over and looked down, groaning when she saw a familiar orange sphere in the water. "Why don't we just call it a draw?"

"No way! A Takami never quits!"

"Didn't you quit lots of things during your childhood?"

"Don't be flapping your lips unless you're between my legs, Yousoro." With that, Chika jumped into the pond, splashing water everywhere as she pinpointed the ball. "Now let's do this!" She put the club in the water and pulled back, trying to push past the water's resistance as she swung with all her might. The ball rolled slowly to the edge of the pond, her swing having been completely ineffective.

"Alright, so that's three strokes so far."

"I'm ignoring you right now." Chika huffed and splashed forward, trying to scoop the ball up with the club. When she finally got it, she lifted it until both the ball and the club were dangling above the surface of the water. Then she jolted the club up, watching as the ball went into the air. She pulled her club back down, flipping it around and wielding it like a baseball bat. When the ball started to come back down, she reared back and swung. "Fore!"

The ball barely missed hitting the dragon, zooming right past it and heading for hole five. It went straight past it, however, smacking into the giant mountain in the middle of the course and bounding back to hole five. The obstacle on that course was a tiny stream of water that trickled down to where the hole was, but it was surrounded on both sides by walls. By complete happenstance, the ball landed directly between the walls, rolling into the stream and being taken all the way down, where it dropped down perfectly into the hole.

"Yeah!" Chika threw up her arms in triumph, splashing water everywhere again. She tossed her club into the grass and clambered out of the pond, running up to You excitedly. "Did you see that?! Did you see that?! I made it in the hole!"

"That was pretty incredible, Chika." You laughed, patting her friend on the shoulder. "Wrong hole though."

"Aw, who cares! It was awesome!" She jumped up and down, then pulled You into a tight hug. "That was the best shot I ever took!"

"Ch-Chika, wait! You're getting me all wet!"

"Oh?" Rather than letting go, Chika leaned in, grinning as she looked right into You's eyes. "My bad, Yousoro. How about I make it up to you?" Her fingers dropped down and started to walk up and down You's pant leg, causing her to shudder involuntarily. "This time I'll definitely make it in the right hole."

"Oh Gods..." You gulped, finding herself weakening while staring into Chika's eager eyes. Her clothes were getting wet, but she had stopped caring about that. All she could concentrate on was Chika and her beautiful, wet body. Appeals to reason were being returned to sender. Their lips were getting closer. You's legs were shaking. Then Chika was yanked away from her, and turned around to look up into the face of an employee. He did not look happy.

"What the hell do you two think you're doing?! Did you jump into the pond?! You two are in big trouble!"

"Uh oh..."

* * *

"She's going to be okay. Her heart's still beating, and I can hear her breathing." Dia stood up, concern etched on her face as she stared down at Riko. Both Ruby and Hanamaru were silently fretting about, and even Mari was being unusually solemn. "We should probably get her to an emergency room though, just in case. I'll get Kanan to drive her."

The others watched her as she jogged over to grab Kanan and explain the situation. "Sh-She's going to be okay, right?" Ruby whispered, wringing her hands nervously. Mari could see the worry all over their faces, and decided to try and make them feel better.

"It's gonna be okay! Riko's gonna be _eccellente_!" At least they weren't staring at Riko like she was a corpse anymore. She regaled the two of them with various foreign words until Dia came back with Kanan, who had agreed to drive Riko to the emergency room. Both Ruby and Hanamaru wanted to go too, unable to concentrate on having fun when they felt so bad for their friend.

Dia watched as her sister and the others helped carry Riko to the car, frowning slightly. This had already gotten way out of hand. She hadn't even seen Chika, so she was already considering calling it a day and trying to round up everyone. Mari was having none of it, though.

"But Diaaa, we've only finished one hole! And you know, if we quit now, that would look like you were forfeiting." Dia stiffened, gritting her teeth. There was no way she would forfeit to Mari. She whirled around and grabbed Mari's hand, dragging her back to hole two.

"If you think you get to win on a technicality, you'd better dream on!" Mari could only smile as Dia took them back, determined to win. They both picked up their clubs and got right back to where they'd left off. Unlike the others, they were actually able to get through more than a single hole, competing without any mercy. They weren't just competing at mini golf, though.

The lead went back and forth. After sinking a beautiful hole in one on hole four, Mari stuck her club out and got it under Dia's skirt, pulling it up with a satisfied smirk. "Ooh, lace!"

"H-How dare you!" The tables were turned on hole seven, when a hole in one brought Dia into the lead. Wanting to get a bit of revenge, she waited until it was Mari's turn to go. Just as she was about to swing, Dia sneaked up behind her and slapped her ass. Mari let out a surprised yelp, swinging too hard and sending the ball careening off the walls like a pinball. When it finally stopped, it was nowhere near the hole: a wasted swing.

"That's not fair, Dia!" She pouted so cutely at Dia that she almost felt sorry. The operative word, however, was 'almost'.

"All's fair in love and golf, Mari." Dia smirked at her, casually strolling over to the next hole, with Mari stomping behind her. Before she reached it, she felt someone grab her arm and pull her back. Dia felt the ball and club fall from her hands as she was pulled straight into a crushing kiss, immediately sending heat racing all over her body.

"Oh, is it? Alright then." She dragged Dia over to the mountain, stepping over the boundary and shoving her against it. There was a certain thrill in seeing that beautiful combination of desire and embarrassment fighting for control on Dia's face as Mari pinned her to the mountain, licking her lips. "We'll play like that, then. Your shiny ass is mine."

In her mind, Dia was weighing all the options in her mind. They were in public, which was a negative. That was a big negative, in fact. She was getting turned on, so that was a positive. ... _'Screw it.'_ She reached around and grabbed Mari's ass, giving it a squeeze with both hands. "You can't beat me, Mari." In response, Mari shoved her hand down Dia's pants, drawing out a low, pleasured moan pretty quickly.

"We'll see about that, _amore_."

* * *

Yoshiko sighed as she tapped her ball into the hall. "Hole in two, yay..." She marked it down on her scorecard, looking around at the empty course. Because Kanan had taken Riko to the emergency room, she had been left without a partner, and one after another it seemed like everybody had vanished. Ruby and Hanamaru had gone with Kanan, while Chika, You, Dia, and Mari weren't in sight. Where the hell had they gone?

She flopped down onto the oddly-textured grass, laying down and staring up at the clouds. Knowing her luck, they'd probably left and forgotten about her. What kind of group hangout was this? Staring at the sky was already boring, especially by herself. She started to toss the ball around, but she just ended up dropping it on her face.

Rubbing her nose in pain, she stood up and kicked the ball in frustration. She was tired of being forgotten. If anyone else was still there, she was going to find them and make them include her in what they were doing. So she grabbed her stuff and went back to find Dia and Mari, since they'd be the ones closest to her.

Shouldn't they have gotten around the mountain's curve by this point? How slow were they at golfing? Shouldn't Chika and You have passed them already? She had a bad feeling that they'd already left. Was she really that forgettable?

She turned the corner and looked, but there was no one in sight. However, there was a rather suspicious sound coming just around the corner. It sounded like... _'You've gotta be kidding me...'_ A blush started to creep up on her cheeks as she heard the distinct sound of someone moaning. It was definitely Dia.

She knew that she shouldn't look, but what the bloody hell were they doing getting... _freaky_ in public?! And they called _her_ the weird one. Curiosity got the better of her, so she shuffled forward as quietly as she could, peeking just a little bit and immediately regretting it. Couldn't they keep their pants on for five damn seconds?

Now that she had the image of Mari's naked ass burned in her mind, she was going to pretend it wasn't the nicest ass she'd ever seen and instead try to find Chika and You. Yet when she went to the other side, they were nowhere to be found. She was feeling frustrated. Everybody else was gone, and when she'd said she was going to make whoever she found include her in what they were doing, she hadn't meant public indecency.

Dejectedly, she just left Dia and Mari to their insanity and went back inside, depositing her stuff and throwing the scorecard away before heading to her car. To her surprise, she saw Chika and You hanging around the parking lot. "Chika? You? What are you doing out here?"

"We got kicked out for having too much fun." Chika pouted, sticking her tongue out at the building. "So we had to run for it."

"We didn't have anywhere to go, though," You chimed in. "And no car, so we snuck back into the parking lot and waited for you." That was... not surprising in the slightest. For some reason though, she felt oddly touched that they'd come back and wait for her, even if it was only because she had the car. She had to take what she could get.

"Well, at least you're still here." Yoshiko sat down on the hood, allowing herself to open up a bit to them. "I thought everyone had abandoned me."

"What? No way!" Chika went over and placed a hand on Yoshiko's shoulder. "You know we'd have still been there if we hadn't been chased out. We got your back, Yoshiko!"

"Yeah, Chika's right." You smiled, placing her own hand on Yoshiko's other shoulder. "We're all friends, and friends don't abandon each other." Yoshiko's eyes widened at such uplifting words. Since when had Chika and You become the sentimental types? She could feel a few stray tears slipping down her cheeks. Since when had _she_ become the sentimental type? "Yoshiko? Are you crying?"

"Of course not! They're not tears, they're... demon eye fluids. It's complicated stuff. You mortals wouldn't understand." Both Chika and You laughed, flopping against Yoshiko and wrapping her up in a tight hug. "And it's Yohane, you know."

"We know, we know." Chika laughed again, looking back towards the building. "I guess we have to wait for Dia and Mari now." The mere mention of their names made Yoshiko feel uncomfortably warm again.

"Uh, I think they might be awhile."

"They're the only ones still golfing, though." You sighed and started to walk towards the outside of the building. "I'll go see how far they've gotten."

"I-I wouldn't do that!"

* * *

When Riko came to, she was laying in the backseat of a car. She groaned softly, rubbing her pained forehead. It felt like she'd been hit with a massive migraine. Hadn't she been playing mini golf, though? What was she doing in a car?

"She's awake, zura!" Riko turned her bleary eyes to the sound, looking up to see Hanamaru looking down with a relieved expression. She was laying on Hanamaru's lap, though she was still too out of it to register that fact. Though she wanted to move and see what exactly was going on, she was worried any more movement would split her head in half.

"What happened?" she murmured weakly. For a moment, the events of the day were a blur.

"You got hit in the forehead with a golf club," Kanan responded, sounding a lot more calm now that Riko was conscious. "It knocked you out cold, so we're driving you to the emergency room.

"Oh." She remembered now. Strangely, she had expected it to be a lot more painful than it was. Maybe a lot of the pain had occurred while she was knocked out. Hanamaru was looking at her with a very guilty expression. She tried to put on a smile for her, but it must've looked awkward. "It's okay, Hanamaru. I know you didn't mean to."

"I-It was an accident," Ruby confirmed, wanting to assuage her friend's guilt as well. Hanamaru still seemed upset, but all of their reassurances seemed to work somewhat.

"Oh! I'd better let Chika and You know I'm okay." She didn't want them to worry too much. Pulling out her phone, she realized that she'd gotten a couple of texts from them. They were probably wondering if she was okay. Since the three of them had a group text thread together, it'd be easy to just let both of them know what was happening. First, she had to see what the texts were.

 _You: Riko, I'm scarred for life..._

 _Chika: I can't believe you saw Dia and Mari fucking!_

 _You: I didn't ask to see it!_

 _Chika: Mou, I didn't get to see it... They're coming out now. Mari better let me see her ass, at least!_

 _You: Chika, wtf!_

 _Chika: Why does everyone get to see them naked but me?!_

"... Can we hurry? I think I'm going to pass out again."

* * *

 **Omake:**

It was probably the most uncomfortable ride of Dia's life. With Kanan gone, they were all forced to drive home with Yoshiko. Since her car only had four seats, Mari had to sit on her lap. Not that Mari seemed to mind, as she seemed way too happy with the fact. They could barely get their seatbelt on.

She couldn't help but notice the odd stares they were getting from Chika and You. Was it because Mari was on her lap? Well, she couldn't help that. She had even suggested that Mari ride in the trunk, but she wouldn't do it. Why were both of their clothes wet anyway? "Uh, what happened to your clothes? They're wet."

"Not as wet as you, clearly," You muttered, folding her arms and looking straight at the headrest in front of her. What in the world did that mean? She was perfectly dry.

"Mariii, I'm hurt!" Chika complained, pouting.

"Oh? Where does it hurt?"

"My heart, because you were showing off your naked body to my girlfriend! ... And I didn't even get to see!" Everything began to fall into place. Dia felt her face quickly beginning to heat up, and even Mari's cheeks turned a cute shade of pink. This was what she got for listening to Mari. Still, she felt like she had to at least defend her girlfriend's honor.

"E-Excuse me, but she was _not_ showing herself off to you!"

"Aww, don't worry, Chika! I won't leave you out." So much for honor. "Only on one condition, though." Chika looked surprised, as if she hadn't been prepared for such an answer.

"What's that?"

"If Dia gets to see You naked in return. She thinks your girlfriend's really fit and shiny!"

"Wh-What?!" Now You was all red in the face, staring at Dia with wide, unbelieving eyes. Chika's jaw dropped. Dia hid her completely embarrassed face against Mari's back, wanting to scream until time was magically turned back and she could never do such shameless acts in public.

"Yoshiko, I would really appreciate it if you drove us off a bridge."

"Yeah, I'm honestly considering it right now."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** If you're wondering how Chika could jump into a pond and still use her phone, it's because she has a waterproof case. Her older sister made her get one after she did pretty much the exact same thing before.


End file.
